I have come to the conclusion that life is much more a series of curves than it is a straight road. As many of my readers know, I expected this week to be a week that I was able to resume some normal routines in my life. (Return to Routines) Instead, I spent all of Wednesday and over half of Thursday at the hospital. My youngest son had his third surgery in about 5 weeks. When I received the news on Tuesday afternoon that we would be returning to the hospital on Wednesday to have surgery to undo what the previous two surgeries had done, I was devastated. I felt like the air had been totally removed from my body and I was struggling to catch a breath. The rest of Tuesday amounted to periods of tears, frustration, fear, doubts, and a great inability to concentrate or care much about other activities in my life.
Now that my son is home from the hospital (we returned home about 2:30 yesterday afternoon) and I am back in the office again, I have been spending time trying to make sense of this week and its events. In my reflecting, I have come to the point of realizing that life is just a series of curves. This can be a very scary reality. If life is a straight path, I can look ahead and prepare for what I am approaching. However, curve after curve means that I really have little time to prepare and I truly cannot anticipate what is about to be in my path.
So what do I do with this realization? The only response I can arrive at is that I must fully rely on God. The reason for this response is that I know God is the only one that can see my whole path of life and knows where each curve is and what is on the other side of the curve. I know that God goes ahead of me to scope out the other side of the curve and strives to prepare me for when I make it through the curve. I know that God helps me steer through the curve and keeps me on the path. I know that when I am unable to navigate the curve and I crash, God is the tow truck that is there to pull me back on to the road and the body repair person to put me back in shape so I can continue on the path.
While I know all these things, I must admit that sometimes I do not find a lot of comfort in these truths. The reason is that I like to be in the driver’s seat. I want to control where I am headed and what I will be doing. I want to determine the path and all the details along the path. But life is a series of curves. All that I can do is try to stay on the path and to rely on the Lord completely.
Lord, help me to trust in you. Help me to remember that you are already ahead of me as the next curve is coming along. Help me to lean on you to properly steer through the path of life. Help me to give up control and maybe move to the passenger seat a lot more often.