As a leader, I am like most leaders, I spend most of my days as a juggler. There always seem to be enough issues and enough projects to keep me feeling like I’m constantly juggling balls or spinning plates. What makes the juggling act even more challenging is if there is an extremely emotional element attached to one of the balls or plates. A leader can become pretty exhausted in this type of work and that is why it is so vital for leaders to have opportunities of respite. However, sometimes life does not offer a respite. There are commitments and self-placed expectations that cause a leader to push forward even though there is a strong desire for a break.
This week is a prime example of one of the times when I crave a respite but know that it is not possible at this time. I had many trips scheduled in June, July, and August. Added to this busy travel schedule was a surgery for my son that ended up being two surgeries and almost two weeks at the hospital. I vowed that all other matters took second place to my son and was very good at honoring that commitment. However, now that he is out of the hospital, I am trying to play catch up. In addition to that, I need to provide care for him at home as much as possible, especially over night. I know that this is a temporary situation and I know that it will all work out but when in the midst of it, I struggle to keep all the balls in the air.
I am scheduled to go on a trip to a conference next week. I am a bit torn about this since I do not want to leave my son unless he is doing much better than he currently is. However, a lot of money has been invested in this trip and I would not want to see it go to waste. So I am forced to practice some of what I preach — I must trust. I must trust that the Lord will take care of all the details. I must trust that the Lord will bring healing. I must trust that the Lord will give me wisdom in the decisions that I make. I must trust that the Lord will give forgiveness if I am not able to keep all the balls in the air. I must trust that the path I walk is being walked by my Lord as well. I must trust that when I need carried, the Lord will pick me up. I must trust that the Lord will lead me to the future and these struggles will remain in the past.
I also need to remember that next month I have ten days scheduled as vacation. These days will be spent at the Iowa State Fair where I will experience respite, excitement, and an opportunity to serve in a different way. That is not very far away and therefore I can manage through this.
As a leader, I am a juggler. As a leader, I have a Lord that can take over for me and will pick up the balls that I drop. As a leader, I MUST trust.