Alright, it is confession time once again. I must confess that I struggle with the concept of being patient. I can justify this struggle so many different ways but the truth is that I am not a very patient person. I see things that I want to accomplish and I go full steam to try to make it happen. I see situations that I want corrected or changed and I exert much energy to make those corrections or changes a reality. I struggle when caught in long lines. I hate been slowed in traffic. I detest being part of mob because the group does not move at the pace I would like to move. I could continue but I think that you have a sense of this struggle which rages inside of me all too often. While I would like to say that I have made improvements in this area, I am not too naive to state that I have a very long ways to go in this battle.
Over the last few weeks, I have been forced to work on patience. I have had to remain patient with my son as I saw him struggle with pain and set backs. I have had to remain patient as the healing process has taken its course. I have had to remain patient as hour upon hour there has been little to no rest. I have had to remain patient as I have waited upon medical staff and sat in waiting rooms. These have been lessons for me and given me the opportunity to make headway in my struggle with patience.
I never include a request for the Lord to give me patience when I engage in my daily prayers. My fear is that if I make such a request, the Lord will be more than willing to allow opportunities for me to practice this discipline. However, even though I do not request such assistance, the Lord, who is extremely benevolent and knows what I need even though I do not utter the words, often gives me lesson opportunities.
Today, as I reflected on the pace of my son’s recovery, these words came into my mind:
This reminder to “Be still” for me is the key to my need for patience during this time. I need to rest in the arms of my Lord right now. I need to remember that God is God and I am not. I cannot “fix” my son. I cannot take away his pain. I cannot speed up his healing process. I need to remember that God is in charge. I need to take the opportunity to be still in the Lord and to have confidence that the Lord is at work even when I cannot see it concretely. I need to have patience.